Funny Quotes

I hate crooks that are late.

I happen to have some free time on my hands now.[Bobby Abbott]Suspended?[Jane Saunders]Yeah.[Bobby Abbott]Let me guess. It’s your first time?[Axel Foley]Yes, it is.[Bobby Abbott]Well, congratulations. I do some of my best work when I’m suspended.[Axel Foley]

I had to move you out of Detroit. It wasn’t safe. The 12th Street Mafia vowed to execute my family. So, I got my family safe. Because the 12th Street Mafia are some scary motherf***ers.[Axel Foley]Did the 12th Street Mafia tell you to get a divorce and stay in Detroit?[Jane Saunders]No, that was your mother. She’s ten times worse than the 12th Street Mafia.[Axel Foley]

I get $10 for cars, I get $20 for limos. What the hell is this?[Playboy Mansion Valet]My truck. Here’s $50. Put it next to a limo.[Axel Foley]

I don’t want to see you die. Which is why I’m gonna leave the room.[to Edgin]

You don’t understand what you’re involved in.[Ilsa Faust]I don’t understand what I’m involved in. I don’t understand what I’m involved in? What am I involved in?[Ethan Hunt]

I do not mean to pry, but you don’t, by any chance, happen to have six fingers on your right hand?[Inigo Montoya]Do you always begin conversations this way?[Man in Black]

I cannot believe my entire future just blew up right in front of me.[as CC]

I can’t fly. Do you guys have a spaceship I could borrow or…

I can’t compete with you physically, and you’re no match for my brains.[Vizzini]You’re that smart?[Man in Black]Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of Plato? Aristotle? Socrates?[Vizzini]Yes.[Man in Black]Morons.[Vizzini]

I can guarantee your safety. I mean, you know, more or less.[to Henry]

I am a field agent. I know the risks. More than that, I am your friend, no matter what I tell the polygraph every week.[to Ethan]