Ted Lasso Quotes (Season 3)

Best thing you can do with bullies is ignore them. Then you sneak into their house at 4:00 a.m., which, statistically speaking, is the hour people are least prepared to defend themselves. And once you’re standing over them, as they sleep in their bed, you start to beat them. With a thick, heavy rope soaked in red paint. Pummeling them over and over until they wake, confusing the paint for their own blood. When they beg you to stop, you laugh as loud as you can, for as long as you can. And then you start to beat them again.

Belief doesn’t just happen because you hang something up on a wall. All right? It comes from in here. You know? And up here. Down here. Only problem is, we all got so much junk floating through us, a lot of time we end up getting in our own way. You know, crap like envy or fear, shame. I don’t wanna mess around with that s*** anymore. You know what I wanna mess around with? The belief that I matter, you know? Regardless of what I do or don’t achieve. Or the belief that we all deserve to be loved, whether we’ve been hurt or maybe we’ve hurt somebody else. Or what about the belief of hope? Yeah? That’s what I wanna mess with. Believing that things can get better. That I can get better. That we will get better. Oh, man. To believe in yourself. To believe in one another. Man, that’s fundamental to being alive.

You want a restaurant to look successful, you take out half the tables and you have a line out the door.

You never talk about a streak. My grandparents were happily married for 51 years because they never said a f***ing word to each other.

You have a great mom and dad, and they love you tons, even though it’s weird they live in different countries. And I know right now it feels like you’re in a sad song. But you, young man, you have the power to take a sad song and make it better.[to Henry]

Sometimes the truth can ruin a perfectly good story.[Rebecca Welton]Yeah, you should work for the Daily Mail.[Theodore ‘Ted’ Lasso]

When I showed up here, I didn’t know one thing about soccer. But now… Well, now I know at least one thing about football.

When girl talk turns into girl hug, you know that either means something horrible’s happened or absolutely nothing at all.

Whatever’s about to happen, that’s a great start.[to Coach Beard]

We are being so unoffensive, we might as well be a Hallmark Christmas movie.

We ain’t gonna get relegated because we’re together. And together, we got me.

Total Football is about letting go of your baggage and trusting your intuition. It’s jazz. It’s Motown. It’s Mamet. It’s Pinter. It’s Einstein. It’s Keurig. It’s Gaga! It’s my mother proudly displaying her vibrator on the bedside table! It’s about throwing off the constraints put upon you by society and by yourselves! We all know football is life. But a beautiful life is Total Football.