Big room is just more people to fall in love with you.[to Midge]
Believe me, honey, if there’s a hell, I’m the headliner.[to Midge]
Bald men can be attractive… with the right hat.
At some point, every Jew must live in Florida. It’s in the Torah.
Are women more important than God? What if we discover one day that we were always the ones in charge? Just, no one told us.
All comics are comics ’cause something in their lives went horribly wrong. Something went to s***.
A voice is a powerful thing. It can shine a light on something that is hiding in the dark. It can change the way people think, which can change the way people act. But it can’t do anything if you keep your mouth shut.
3:00 in the afternoon… A pen, a notebook and a drink. All you need is a social disease, and you are officially a road comic.[to Midge]
