Sometimes I tune people out, but mostly because they rarely have anything useful or interesting to say.
You ever rehearse an argument you plan on having with someone in your head, and during the rehearsal you’re perfectly reasonable and they’re a jerk? And then the argument actually happens and they’re reasonable but that’s not how you rehearsed it, so you become the jerk?
Is it really necessary to be that beautiful? Because frankly, it’s incredibly unfair. It’s not enough that women have to compete with other women, now men are getting in the mix? You can’t have it all. You can’t run the world and have all the pretty underwear, too. The competition wasn’t stiff enough with the hoards of slutty secretaries roaming the Earth?
I don’t want to wear champagne. It’s not a color. It’s what happens when white gets sad.[about her second wedding]
Did I die?[after listening to the recording of her snoring, which stops abruptly]
Anyone who makes people think for themselves is very dangerous.
The world is full of disappointments, and sometimes people let you down. You can’t just run away.
Tell that to a dog.[Rose Weissman: Bathrooms and parks are not the same.]
Watch now on:
Shirley tells me you’re gonna be buried in Israel. Any idea when?[to Moishe]
Seriously, how do you respond to, “He paints naked”? I’m just asking.
My mother first told me to keep my knees closed until there’s a ring on my finger in the Catskills. Actually, she told me it was biologically impossible to have sex without a ring on your finger. Guess what, Mom, it’s not.
Miriam, I have to go. I just heard the words “potato salad.” There’s only so much a man can take in his own house.
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Videos:
