Stupid corporate wet blankets. Like booze ever killed anybody.
Stanley yelled at me today. That was one of the most frightening experiences of my life.
Sometimes you have to take a break from being the kind of boss that’s always trying to teach people things. Sometimes you have to just be the boss of dancing.
Reverse psychology is an awesome tool. I don’t know if you guys know about it, but basically you make someone think the opposite of what you believe and that tricks them into doing something stupid. Works like a charm.
Please do not drink and drive, because you may hit a bump and spill the drink.
Pizza. Great equalizer. Rich people love pizza. Poor people love pizza. White people love pizza. Black people love pizza. Do black people like pizza?
Okay. Listen, this is just going to be a friendly game, right? We’re all on the same team here. The Dunder Mifflin team. Of course, if you beat us, you’re fired.
Now you may look around and see two groups here. White collar. Blue collar. But I don’t see it that way. And you know why not? Because I am collar-blind.
Jim is a friend of mine. So the only people that this crush really concerns is Jim and Pam, and me.[to Kevin]
Jan is cold. If she was sitting across from you on a train and she wasn’t moving, you might think she was dead.
It’s not that children make me uncomfortable, it’s just that, why be a dad when you can be a fun uncle? I’ve never heard of anyone rebelling against their fun uncle.
If you think she’s cute now, you should have seen her a couple of years ago.[about Pam]