In the wild, there is no health care. In the wild, health care is, “How, I hurt my leg. I can’t run. A lion eats me, and I’m dead.” Well, I’m not dead. I’m the lion. You’re dead.
Downsizing? Yeah, I have no problem with that. I have been recommending downsizing since I first got here. I even brought it up in my interview. I say, bring it on.
You can’t fire me, I don’t work in this van.[to Michael]
The purse girl hits everything on my checklist. Creamy skin, straight teeth, curly hair, amazing breasts… Not for me, for my children. The Schrutes produce very thirsty babies.
So I can lower it.[Pam Beesly: Why would you wanna raise your cholesterol?]
Oh, man! Am I a woman?[Pam Beesly: If I have to do this, based on stereotypes that are totally untrue, that I do not agree with, you would maybe not be a very good driver.]
I never smile if I can help it. Showing one’s teeth is a submission signal in primates. When someone smiles at me, all I see is a chimpanzee begging for its life.
A hero kills people, people that wish him harm. A hero is part human and part supernatural. A hero is born out of a childhood trauma, or out of a disaster, and must be avenged.
Yankee Swap is like Machiavelli meets Christmas.
Wow, you’ll be paying this off in your mid-seventies. Forget about retiring when you’re 65. Hey, I have an idea. You know that extra bedroom? If the whole girlfriend thing never happens, that’s where the nurse can live.
Would I ever leave this company? Look, I’m all about loyalty. In fact, I feel like part of what I’m being paid for here is my loyalty. But if there were somewhere else that valued that loyalty more highly, I’m going wherever they value loyalty the most.
Women are like wolves. If you want a wolf, you have to trap it. You have to snare it. And then you have to tame it. Keep it happy. Care for it. Feed it. Lovingly, the way an animal deserves to be loved. And my animal deserves a lot of loving.
