Dreams move one-hundredth the speed of reality, and dog time is one-seventh human time. So, you know, every day here is like a minute. It’s like “Inception,” Morty, so if it’s confusing and stupid, then so is everyone’s favorite movie.
I hate every country in the universe, brother! They’re job placement programs for the politicians that invent them.
How is knocking out a deterrent? Everyone wants to be knocked out. Nobody wants to be dead.
Geez, Rick. People be f***ing each other’s wives, huh?[Morty Smith]Marriage is a scam, Morty.[Rick Sanchez]
You might want to learn this early, Morty. Life is a fight.
You know who’s into dragons, Morty? Nerds that refuse to admit they’re Christian.
What, so everyone’s supposed to sleep every single night now? You realize that nighttime makes up half of all time?
Rick, what about the reality we left behind?[Morty Smith]What about the reality where Hitler cured cancer, Morty? The answer is don’t think about it.[Rick Sanchez]
Welcome to life. It’s a big boat with a lot of holes, but we’re all in it together.
Two things I want to make clear to everybody in this room: never betray me and it’s time to go.
Truly nobody cares about your d*ck, Morty. The sooner you learn that, the better.
There’s no such thing as a bad idea, Morty. It’s about execution.
