I’m easy to make happy, which is why nobody gives a s*** if I am.
If I’ve learned one thing, it’s that before you get anywhere in life, you got to stop listening to yourself.
The trick to cereal is keeping 70% of it above the milk.
Since we’re fighting, if you ever have an affair with that guy, I will come to the hotel room and blow my brains out all over your naked bodies.[to Beth, about Davin]
Have you ever tried to relax? It is a paradox.[to Meeseeks]
Just making conversation.[Jerry Smith]Are you? What part of that gives me anything to work with? My choice is to say nothing, be sarcastic, or bark “yes” like a trained animal. It’s not a conversation. You’re holding me verbally hostage.[Summer Smith]
I’m a parasite![Jerry Smith]Yeah, but you’re real.[Beth Smith]
When you’re not sure what you do for a living, you can make your own rules.
I’m finally free. All because of Morty.[Planetina]What a romantic story about our son killing a room full of people.[Jerry Smith]
Rick, I don’t like glowing rocks in the kitchen trash![Jerry Smith]Well, I don’t like your unemployed genes in my grandchildren, Jerry, but life is made of little concessions.[Rick Sanchez]
Try not to worry about it, Morty. You’re a good kid, and there’s not a premium on that right now, but you’ll be getting girls sometime after Brad’s out of shape.
Rick can make secret decoys of the family and place them all around the country, but f*** me if I have questions about the starfish man in a target suit.
