You don’t love people in hopes of a reward, you love them unconditionally.[to Jerry]
You and Unity are like leggings and mid-calf boots. You think you’re great together, but you’re just bringing out the worst in each other.[to Rick]
We’re miserable, Morty! There’s a mandatory curfew, their weird calendar made me 47, and they weaponized the Eiffel Tower!
Are you? What part of that gives me anything to work with? My choice is to say nothing, be sarcastic, or bark “yes” like a trained animal. It’s not a conversation. You’re holding me verbally hostage.[Jerry Smith: Just making conversation.]
You’ve been high-roading us non-stop, forcing us to do nothing in the middle of f***ing nowhere because it’s the only way you’re gonna level the playing field, isn’t it? Because if you move the bar so low, you might actually seem like you’re worth a f***.[to Jerry]
You’re the little brother. You’re not the cause of your parents’ misery. You’re just a symptom of it.[to Morty]
Oh, Unity, I am so sorry. I didn’t know freedom meant people doing stuff that sucks. I was thinking more of a choose your own cellphone-carrier thing.
I never thought I’d be the one to say this, but you need to watch more anime, Mom. Whoa, easy now, Naruto![Beth Smith: They’re not actually gonna attack a space baby, are they?]
I exist because you guys failed to abort me. We get the family we get, not the one we want. And if you want to keep the one you got, get your asses into some anime spacesuits.
I don’t wanna get married. I’m 17. My affection is the wind. Don’t try to compete for it.
Camping is just being homeless without the change.
B**ch, my generation gets traumatized for breakfast.[Beth Smith: I was traumatized, Summer. Okay, your generation wouldn’t get that.]
