It is surprising how time passes when you are not enjoying yourself.[to von Smallhausen]
Is the coast clear?[repeated line]
If von Klinkerhoffen hears my head ticking, he will think I am a bomb![concerned that von Klinkerhoffen will find the cuckoo clock]
I can drop-a you in the you-know-what and you not-a come out smelling of the roses.[why von Strohm, Gruber and Helga should share the money with him]
I always go slowly. I am an undertaker.
How typical of the French. They put things in with never a thought of how to get them out again.[while trying to open a champagne]
How strange. The boots seem too big for you. Normally, it’s the other way round.[to Herr Flick]
How is the war going? Do you have the half-time score?[to von Strohm]
Helga, you come and sit by me. It looks good to show German officers being friendly with their privates.
Heil-a Mussolini![repeated line]
He is not known as “Ménage Artois” for nothing.[about René and his waitresses]
He has always been very reticent where women of the opposite sex are concerned.[to von Klinkerhoffen, about Gruber]