Resident Alien Quotes (Season 3)

Taking time helps you see things more clearly, Deputy. Hey, you know, Cletus peed in my bed once, right? Now, I got mad, but did I get rid of him? No. I took some time to reflect and find the right move. So then I went and peed in his little doggy bed, and I said to him, “Now, how do you like it now?” That’s how he learns. They pee on you, you pee on them. I’m not gonna rub his nose in it. That’d just be cruel.

Love is like being shot out of a cannon. Thrilling, except for that very last part when you hit the ground and your body breaks into tiny pieces.

Love is like a lifeline that tethers an astronaut to his ship. If that line is cut, you are lost.

Liza, you are being very naughty. If you do not stop throwing knives at Daddy, I will limit your screen time.

Is it too much to ask for, to find an independent woman who only does what I want?

Don’t worry about limping pigeons. Over time, they’ve developed the ability to fake ankle injuries to get more bread from people. It’s sad. It used to be such a proud bird.[to Liv]

You were supposed to leave the planet on a ship we provided, but you’re still here. Why?[Joseph Rainier]I do not like public transportation.[Harry Vanderspeigle]

You ain’t never really safe until you learn to look behind yourself.

We’re not stuck in here because we’re failures. We’re in here because no one else would even try. [to Harry]

We’re not having fun. We are choosing to be single until we finish our mission.[D’Arcy Bloom]Oh, is that why we’re single?[Asta Twelvetrees]God, I hope so.[D’Arcy Bloom]

There are many terrifying things in the world, but the most terrifying thing is love. It attacks you like a thing with claws. Love opens you up, and there you are. And you don’t even try to stop it. You let it feed. Because real love makes you want the person you love to be okay… Even if you are not.

That’s how it works for handsome people. Happens to me all the time. Every job I ever got didn’t even exist until I wanted it.[Mike Thompson]The job of sheriff existed before you had it, sir.[Liv Baker]Yeah, but it was the day I said to myself, it’d be nice to be sheriff, that old Sheriff Hawthorne up and died. Now, did I kill him? Maybe. Luckily, you can’t be arrested for your thoughts… yet. But I’m working on it.[Mike Thompson]