Heaven is probably mostly h**kers.[Ted]Wait, so you’re paying for sеx in heaven?[John Bennett]You’re not paying them for sеx. You’re paying them to fly away.[Ted]
God. We watched six seconds of pοrn and it ruined our lives.[to Ted]
Even when you’re technically on the right side, you still find a way to ruin it.[Blaire Bennett]What? I just said they’re not all smart. Some of them Hebrews are just in it for the money.[Matty Bennett]That is beyond f***ing offensive.[Blaire Bennett]Sorry. Hebrews and Shebrews.[Matty Bennett]
Don’t you want John to grow up to be a sexually healthy adult?[Blaire Bennett]Blaire, language.[Susan Bennett]My parents never talked to me about sеx. I figured it all out on my own, and I’m doing just fine.[Blaire Bennett]We’ll talk to John.[Susan Bennett]
Delusional narcissist.[Ted]Excuse me?[Blaire Bennett]Note to self, stop saying what you write.[Ted]
College turns people gay. Absolutely right! Out there on the lawn every weekend, tossing the Frisbee around.[Matty Bennett] How the f*** is Frisbee gay?[Blaire Bennett] It’s a sport where nobody wins.[Matty Bennett]
As Borges said, “With every goodbye, you learn.”[Professor Lucas Damon]As Steinbeck said, “Farewell has a sweet sound of reluctance. Goodbye is short and final.”[Blaire Bennett]As Hemingway said, “I wonder what this gun tastes like.”[Ted]
And might I say, you are a very beautiful woman, Shelly.[Ted]Sheila.[Sheila]Oh, God, I know.[Ted]
A Pringles can with one left! That’ll be satisfying!
25 years of marriage and no pοrn, I’d put a bullet in my head.
