I love inside jokes. I’d love to be a part of one someday.
I honestly don’t see what the big deal is. Stevie Wonder is married. Are you going to tell me that Stevie Wonder doesn’t love his wife just because he’s not sure what she looks like?
I had Martin explain to me three times what he got arrested for, because it sounds an awful lot like what I do here every day.[about insider trading]
I don’t want somebody sucking up to me because they think I’m going to help their career. I want them sucking up to me because they genuinely love me.
I don’t understand. We have a day honoring Martin Luther King, but he didn’t even work here.
I don’t understand how someone can have so little self-awareness.[about Andy]
I don’t think you know what you’re saying.[Dwight Schrute: And just as you have planted your seed in the ground, I’m going to plant my seed in you.]
I don’t know who these new people think they are. I’ve sat downwind of Phyllis’ stinky perfumes for years. Never said a word.
I don’t have a lot of experience with vampires, but I have hunted werewolves. I shot one once. But by the time I got to it, it had turned back into my neighbor’s dog.
I don’t care what Jim says, that is not the real Ben Franklin. I am 99% sure.
I don’t back down. My sister and I used to be best friends, and we haven’t talked in 16 years. Over some disagreement, I don’t even remember. So yeah, I’m pretty good.
I can’t even imagine the thing. Maybe we could go out for a beer sometime and you could tell me how you do that to another dude.[to Oscar]