I’m a lawyer, not a criminal.
Attorneys always make the worst witnesses.
As your attorney, your friend, and your brother, I strongly suggest that you get yourself a better lawyer.
Any lawyer who comes to you with the words “I guarantee!” is a liar.
You know why God made snakes before he made lawyers? He needed the practice.
You know who people hate more than litigators? Puppy killers.
You got to learn when to think like a lawyer, you understand? And when to think like a landowner. Or a lawyer’s all you’re ever gonna be.[to Jamie]
What’s the difference between a tick and a lawyer? The tick falls off when you’re dead! Bam!
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 60? “Your Honor.”
We all know we get close to the line sometimes. Now, we try to stay on the right side of the law. You want to be a good lawyer, you need to get close to that line.[to Diane]
This is not a real estate deal. It’s a court case. So either be a f*****g lawyer, or don’t be one. You know, go out to f*****g Santa Clarita and sell doll houses.[to Patty]
The power we wield as attorneys general is akin to a V-12 engine in an Italian sports car. You can drive the speed limit most of the time, but once in a while, you gotta take that power out and gun it.
