I don’t know why they want these drug addiction centres, anyhow. I mean, ain’t we got enough drug addicts without them recruiting them?
Have you had a look at yourself recently? I’ve seen wounds dressed better than you.[to Rodney]
During the war, a crewmate of mine, Sky Piggott, died of a sexually related condition… His girlfriend’s husband shot him.
Derek, will you get it into your thick skull: I’m not trying to meet intelligent and sensitive people, I’m happy with you!
Cassandra, we’re talking about Derek Trotter! To Del, market penetration means sex under a barrow![Cassandra: At the bank we always advise small businesses to target specifics to achieve maximum market penetration.]
Boomerang Trotter always comes back.
You want to see what it’s like up there in the early hours, Grandad. It’s like the end of the world. It’s full of drug addicts, glue sniffers, winos. Do you know what, if a nightingale sang now in Berkeley Square, someone would eat it.
You want to hear a sob story, I will tell you a sob story. I have just found out that my wife has been lying to me. Every morning she says she’s gonna leave me, and when I come home at night she’s still there.[to Del Boy and Rodney]
You ought to think about him. He was all on his own once for three months on an uninhabited island. Of course it wasn’t uninhabited when he arrived but that’s another story.[to Rodney, about Albert]
You know, he made the front page of the Lancet, don’t you? As being the only living man in history to be treated for rigor mortis.[to Rodney, about Grandad]
You know what happened to the real Trigger, don’t you? Roy Rogers had him stuffed.
You know me, I’ll do anyone a favour… if the money’s right.
