Only Fools and Horses Quotes (Season 4)

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: that man is a right Jonah. They reckon when he boarded his last ship the crew shot an albatross for luck![about Albert]

Get over it? What a plonker you really are, Rodney. Get over it? I ain’t even started yet! Ain’t even started, bruv! And do you know why? Because I don’t know how to! That’s why. I’ve survived all my life with a smile and a prayer! I’m Del Boy, ain’t I! Good old Del Boy, he’s got more bounce than Zebedee! “Here you are pal, what you drinking? Go on. Hello darling, you have one for luck.” That’s me, that’s Del Boy, innit? Nothing ever upsets Del Boy! I’ve always played the tough guy! I didn’t want to, but I had to. And I’ve played it for so long now, I don’t know how to be anything else. I don’t even know how to… Oh, it don’t matter. Bloody family! I’ve finished with them! What do they do to you, eh? They hold you back, drag you down, and then they break your bloody heart.[Rodney accuses Del Boy of getting over Grandad’s death so quickly]

I think in her own way she loved me. She never used to charge me as much as the other lads.[about Helga]

Boomerang Trotter always comes back.

You want to hear a sob story, I will tell you a sob story. I have just found out that my wife has been lying to me. Every morning she says she’s gonna leave me, and when I come home at night she’s still there.[to Del Boy and Rodney]

You know me, I’ll do anyone a favour… if the money’s right.

You didn’t honestly believe all that rubbish, did you? That you and them wallies were destined for the Albert Hall, Carnegie Hall? The only hall you were destined for was Sod All.[after Rodney gets kicked out of the Bunch of Wallies]

Yeah, I used to miss my dad, until I learned to punch straight.

When he’s comatose, most probably, you know, sleep is the best thing for him.[about Duke]

Whatever the subject is, Mum had something to say about it on her deathbed. She must have spent her final few hours in this mortal realm doing nothing but rabbiting![to Del Boy]

What, another one? Stone me, Del, you’ve been engaged more times than a switchboard.

Please don’t make me rich![running away from Del Boy]