To keep my promise to Mum. And you never know when you might need some bone marrow.[Rodney: If I’ve always been such a let-down, why did you insist on having me around?]
The only way to avoid a broken marriage is don’t turn up for the wedding.
She was a beautiful woman, a bit like Ginger Rodgers. Last time I saw her she looked more like Fred Astaire.[about Ada]
Public enemy number one? But he only left Tuesday![watching a news report about Del’s double]
No, Rodney, you’re wrong. You’re not just a lookout, you’re a bad lookout!
Mickey Pearce. He’s had about as much success with women as you’ve had with boats.[to Albert]
It’s like my dear old Mum used to say, ‘There’s none so blind as them as what won’t listen.’
It’s amazing, innit? Everything you buy off him has got something missing.[although Del Boy promised Boycie a baby boy, he can only deliver a girl]
If Elsie Partridge really could raise the dead, half the money lenders in Peckham would be employing her.
I’ve got this horrible feeling that if there is such a thing as reincarnation, knowing my luck, I’ll come back as me.
I think in her own way she loved me. She never used to charge me as much as the other lads.[about Helga]
I expect I’ll find something to replace the excitement of your presence, you know, knitting, something like that.