There was a very interesting article in the paper the other day. Did you know that Taiwan is the only country in the world that don’t have any rubbish dumps? They just send it all to him.[to Albert, about Del Boy]
There are many words I could use to describe Derek Trotter but lovely is not one of them.[to Raquel]
The only time you ever made women jealous was the night you won the last house at bingo.[to Mickey Pearce]
The only time my clothes look fashionable is when I’m watching UK Gold.[to Rodney]
The closest he gets to a sudden movements when he wipes the cobwebs off his head.[about Albert]
That’s very kind of you, Derek. Rodney’s told me all about you as well, although I must admit I didn’t believe him… until now.
Still, it could have been worse, Del. My gran had one with a squeaky wheel.[Del returns from hospital in a wheelchair after his hang gliding trip]
Sssh! Keep your voices down! You’ll get him chucked out of here.[to Rodney, during a prison visit to Grandad]
Running away only wears out your shoes.[to Rodney]
Rodney, you know, he tried to join the police force once, it was after he failed the intelligence test to become a Unigate milkman.[to Sandra]
Please don’t make me rich![running away from Del Boy]
People round here don’t pay £85 for a painting. People round here don’t pay £85 for a car.[to Victoria]