Only Fools and Horses Quotes (Season 2)

Just me usual, bacteria on toast, you know.[after Sid asks him what he has eaten]

It’s amazing, ain’t it, Trig? I’ve lived with him all these years and I thought I knew him. You know, and then something like this happens, some simple gesture, and then you suddenly realise what a 100 percent, 24 carat plonker he really is![to Trigger, about Rodney]

It’s a good thing your Mum died when she did, cause that would have killed her.[insulted by Rodney’s lack of respect for the family honour]

If a North Korean came to live in London, he’d think that Battersea Dog’s Home was a takeaway.

I’ve always wanted to go to Benidorm. Where is it?

I mean, Rodney going out with a policewoman. What the neighbours gonna say?

I mean, I know a lot of people are born a penny short of a shilling but in Trig’s case God added VAT.

He died a couple of years before I was born.[about his dad]

Excuse me gentlemen, I think I’ve got a cultural encounter coming on.