I don’t understand why humans waste so much time resisting their desires. A rehabilitation center for drugs and sex.
I can’t go downstairs, Detective. Between my sunglasses, scarf and gloves, I’ll look like Stevie Wonder on a snow day.
Did I die?[after listening to the recording of her snoring, which stops abruptly]
All I wanted was my life to be my own. To be free. Turns out fate has a twisted sense of humor.
A plan is just an excuse to do something stupid.
You’ve always been a man comfortable with compromise. I mean, after all, you fell in love with a Canadian.[to Niles]
You must have spent a third of your life standing in front of mirrors. My earliest childhood recollection is of you standing in front of a mirror. Up until I was four I thought you was twins.[to Del Boy]
Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt? Because deep down, they’re really good people.
What’s the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle? The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? An offer you can’t understand.
No one wants to kiss a girl in black.
Never met an Englishman I haven’t wanted to punch in the face.
