Yeah, guess I am an a**hole! Y’know, sometimes you gotta be an a**hole! My grandpa taught me that!
Yeah, but you’re real.[Jerry Smith: I’m a parasite!]
When you’re not sure what you do for a living, you can make your own rules.
When you know nothing matters, the universe is yours.[to Beth]
When I create s***, it works, Morty. It’s called being talented.
Whatever you are asking me, the answer is I’m amazing.[to Morty and Summer]
What a romantic story about our son killing a room full of people.[Planetina: I’m finally free. All because of Morty.]
Well, I don’t like your unemployed genes in my grandchildren, Jerry, but life is made of little concessions.[Jerry Smith: Rick, I don’t like glowing rocks in the kitchen trash!]
Weddings are basically funerals with cake.
Try not to worry about it, Morty. You’re a good kid, and there’s not a premium on that right now, but you’ll be getting girls sometime after Brad’s out of shape.
Truly nobody cares about your d*ck, Morty. The sooner you learn that, the better.
The trick to cereal is keeping 70% of it above the milk.