Don’t make my mistake, Summer. Don’t deify the people that leave you. You’ll end up a horse surgeon in a world controlled by aliens whose medicine keeps horses healthy forever. Horses live longer than tortoises now. Is that what you want for yourself?
Can’t we just pretend like everything’s fine for a few hours, enjoy ourselves, and then worry about all this later?[to Morty]
Are you? What part of that gives me anything to work with? My choice is to say nothing, be sarcastic, or bark “yes” like a trained animal. It’s not a conversation. You’re holding me verbally hostage.[Jerry Smith: Just making conversation.]
Your special time is your power. It makes you strong like a boob.[to Summer]
You’ve been high-roading us non-stop, forcing us to do nothing in the middle of f***ing nowhere because it’s the only way you’re gonna level the playing field, isn’t it? Because if you move the bar so low, you might actually seem like you’re worth a f***.[to Jerry]
You’re the little brother. You’re not the cause of your parents’ misery. You’re just a symptom of it.[to Morty]
You’re still learning English? That’s the language you speak. How dumb are you?[to Morty]
You’re growing up fast, Morty. You’re growing into a real big thorn straight up into my ass.
You’re down here bailing on the rest of us because you don’t want to process your grief and shame like a normal person, by drinking and mistreating strangers.[to Birdperson]
You should select a different timeline. I mean, if your father and I achieved our dreams, there’s a chance you weren’t even born.[to Summer]
You s*** on my toilet because you don’t know your place, and your place is nothing. So next time you stumble onto a toilet that feels too good for your ass, trust me, it is.[to Tony]
Yeah, sure, I mean, if you spend all day shuffling words around, you can make anything sound bad, Morty.[Morty Smith: You sold a gun to a murderer so you could play video games?!]