I hate every country in the universe, brother! They’re job placement programs for the politicians that invent them.
How is knocking out a deterrent? Everyone wants to be knocked out. Nobody wants to be dead.
Geez, Rick. People be f***ing each other’s wives, huh?[Morty Smith]Marriage is a scam, Morty.[Rick Sanchez]
You might want to learn this early, Morty. Life is a fight.
You know who’s into dragons, Morty? Nerds that refuse to admit they’re Christian.
You can’t make people like you. You just have to wait for hating you to bore them.[to Jerry]
What, so everyone’s supposed to sleep every single night now? You realize that nighttime makes up half of all time?
Rick, what about the reality we left behind?[Morty Smith]What about the reality where Hitler cured cancer, Morty? The answer is don’t think about it.[Rick Sanchez]
Welcome to life. It’s a big boat with a lot of holes, but we’re all in it together.
We’re miserable, Morty! There’s a mandatory curfew, their weird calendar made me 47, and they weaponized the Eiffel Tower!
Two things I want to make clear to everybody in this room: never betray me and it’s time to go.
Truly nobody cares about your d*ck, Morty. The sooner you learn that, the better.
