Will someone mute the goddamn news? If I want a list of my failures, I’d dig up my mother.
Who’s gonna invest in you if you won’t invest in yourself?
When you’re not sure what you do for a living, you can make your own rules.
When I create s***, it works, Morty. It’s called being talented.
Whatever you are asking me, the answer is I’m amazing.[to Morty and Summer]
I’m finally free. All because of Morty.[Planetina]What a romantic story about our son killing a room full of people.[Jerry Smith]
Rick, I don’t like glowing rocks in the kitchen trash![Jerry Smith]Well, I don’t like your unemployed genes in my grandchildren, Jerry, but life is made of little concessions.[Rick Sanchez]
Weddings are basically funerals with cake.
Underestimating people only gives them the high ground.
Try not to worry about it, Morty. You’re a good kid, and there’s not a premium on that right now, but you’ll be getting girls sometime after Brad’s out of shape.
This guy, Morty, he hates being found but loves building elaborate s***. Like playing a ton of “Minecraft,” but all on a private server.
These fortunes are so basic. Why wouldn’t you use this power to change the world? Or at least get Nintendo to make a portable VR headset?
