Honey, you shouldn’t have to be a lost middle-aged woman yet. Take it from me. It sucks. And the joy of being 17 is not knowing anything, including how hard it’s gonna get.[Beth Smith]Yeah. I guess I’m sorry for what I said. I just don’t know how to be your friend.[Summer Smith]You don’t have to be. You’re my daughter.[Beth Smith]
Holy s***. I’m a terrible father.
Now, who can tell me the common denominator of these two fractions? You don’t know or y’all just bored?[Mr. Goldenfold]Hey, listen, you know, if we’re all bored over here, wouldn’t the common denominator be you?[Morty Smith]
Here’s some things an adventure needs, Beth. Conflict, stakes, a way for me to benefit, and, clearly, Morty.
Great, now I have to take over a whole planet because of your stupid boobs.[to Summer]
Good old Beth! The mind of a robot and the heart of an insect!
Give me a break. We’re not heroes for having unprotected sex on prom night.[to Beth]
Everyone sucks until they don’t. That’s the arc of every good story.
Everyone can change their nature, Morty. It’s what defines our species. Look at Iron Man. That actor was an animal in the ’90s, literally waking up in bushes. His agent had to catch him with a butterfly net.
Don’t waste your brain on those weirdos, Unity. They’re no different from any of the aimless chumps that you occupy. They just put you at the center of their lives because you’re powerful. And then because they put you there, they want you to be less powerful.
Don’t insult my father. He’s the reason our kids are only half-stupid.[to Jerry]
Don’t hate the player, hate the game, son.[to Jerry]
