What type of computer do you have? And please don’t say a white one.
What do you get when you cross an accountant with a giant jet airplane? A Boring 747.
I have patients who are suicidal.[Jennifer Melfi]Well, they’re not gonna feel any better about their life if you get clipped.[Tony Soprano]
These are snakes with fur. The old Italians will tell you, you can’t even put them around a baby. They suck the breath right out.[about cats]
If that’s your sense of humour, there’s something wrong with your wiring. Time for the funny farm.
You look like a ferret that gave up on himself six months ago.
Well, all I know is, daughters are better at taking care of their mothers than sons.[Livia Soprano]Yeah, and I bought CDs for a broken record.[Tony Soprano]
Which one makes the biggest hole?
What did the blind man say when he passed the fish market? “Good morning, ladies.”
The only way she’d be able to make a contribution to science is if they resume sending chimps into space.
Ten years you thought about Janice? There are men in the can better looking than my sister.[to Richie]
Jesus and his dad. Naughty combo.
