Alex Levy is Lazarus, and that makes me Jesus. Except I’m in more houses seven days a week.[to Paul]
What is this, your first “Taken”?[Summer Smith]Ah! F*** you, Summer! I rescue Morty seven times per season![Rick Sanchez]
According to the briefing, prisoners escaped by hiding in a laundry cart.[Dana Scully]I don’t think the guards are watching enough prison movies.[Fox Mulder]
A**holes snapped my toothbrush in half. Now I own nothing.
A stripper at a bachelor party, that is so cliché. Why don’t you guys get a magician?![Phoebe Buffay]Well, if a magician can open my beer with his but cheeks, then all right.[Chandler Bing]
A Pringles can with one left! That’ll be satisfying!
A documentary I saw when I was in college about an insane asylum. It gave me nightmares.[Fox Mulder]I didn’t think anything gave you nightmares.[Dana Scully]I was young.[Fox Mulder]
A boss’s salary isn’t just about money, it is about perks. It… for example, every year I get a $100 gas card… Can’t put a price tag on that.
25 years of marriage and no pοrn, I’d put a bullet in my head.
“If you want to see your daughter again, bring five hundred gold pieces to the arena.” It’s signed Xin Fu and The Boulder.[Katara]I can’t believe it… I have The Boulder’s autograph![Sokka]
“Don’t be an idiot.” Changed my life.[Michael Scott: What is the most inspiring thing I ever said to you?]
[writing a letter] “Dear Katara, sorry for everything. Your friend, Toph.”[Sokka]I know this is from you, Sokka! Toph can’t write! Ugh! You’re all driving me crazy![Katara]I can’t believe we forgot Toph can’t write.[Aang]Yup. We’re idiots.[Sokka]