You’ve been high-roading us non-stop, forcing us to do nothing in the middle of f***ing nowhere because it’s the only way you’re gonna level the playing field, isn’t it? Because if you move the bar so low, you might actually seem like you’re worth a f***.[to Jerry]
You s*** on my toilet because you don’t know your place, and your place is nothing. So next time you stumble onto a toilet that feels too good for your ass, trust me, it is.[to Tony]
When I create s***, it works, Morty. It’s called being talented.
People that spend their life avoiding death are already dead. They’re also rich, and I like to spend my life with their money.[to Morty]
Morty, relax. They’re face-hugging parasites. I don’t think their society’s gonna be that hard to navigate. Okay, yeah, this might be a little harder than I thought. Holy s***, they’ve got an M&M’s store.
It’s showtime, Morty. And I don’t mean a bad impression of HBO. I mean, “Time for a show.”
If it’s god power that gets you going, light some candles and put on the Billy Ocean, because Moses is home and he’s ready to burn some bush![to Beth]
I wasn’t born into the god business. I f***ing earned it.
I was living in the moment all day, and it kept getting me killed by Nazis. I think you have to think ahead and live in the moment.[to Morty]
Holy s***. I’m a terrible father.
Crazy things happen when you put in the work.
Camping is just being homeless without the change.