Did I die?[after listening to the recording of her snoring, which stops abruptly]
Come up with something or… or I’ll never talk to you again.[to Crowley]
Cheating you? Cheating you?! What’s that rumbling noise? No, it’s alright, it’s Mum turning in her grave.[to Rodney]
All I wanted was my life to be my own. To be free. Turns out fate has a twisted sense of humor.
A plan is just an excuse to do something stupid.
Your guilt, it just must be at Catholic-masturbator levels.
You’ve always been a man comfortable with compromise. I mean, after all, you fell in love with a Canadian.[to Niles]
You’re supposed to be cutting those out. They’re killing you.[Catherine Standish]That’s why I smoke them.[Jackson Lamb]
You must have spent a third of your life standing in front of mirrors. My earliest childhood recollection is of you standing in front of a mirror. Up until I was four I thought you was twins.[to Del Boy]
You know, I always figured that tea was just gonna taste like hot brown water. And you know what? I was right. Yeah, it’s horrible.[to Rebecca]
You guys realize, if there’s a gate down there, it’s technically a water gate. Watergate.[to Max and Lucas]
You beating yourself up is like Woody Allen playing the clarinet. I don’t wanna hear it. All right?[to Roy]
